When I am PM.
There are a number of things I will do when I am PM – many of which will be for the good of the country, but most will be for the benefit of me.
This is just the start…but I think the following campaign will tip the votes and secure my rightful place as ruler of this fair isle.
“BRING BACK PETROL PUMP ATTENDANTS”
I hate putting in petrol. I always forget to open my petrol cap and therefore once I have got out of the car and walked to said petrol pump, I then swear and have to walk back to car and flip petrol pump button. I never learn. The repetition of the habit of putting in petrol has not taught me flip the petrol cap before I leave the car.
So then I stand there (usually shivering) and watch money drain into my car.
My solution to this is simple and will of course secure employment opportunities…I intend to campaign to bring back the petrol pump attendant.
It means I can sit in my car and update my twitter status.